He Is Not Well Enough to Do Much

Save The Marriage

Save Your Marriage

Get Instant Access

From a clinical point of view, when illness or even persistent symptoms, unbeknown to the affected parties, begin to resolve long-standing marital conflicts, it presents a challenge of insurmountable proportions. This case illustrates the point. Mr. Vince was involved in a minor car accident in which he sustained a whiplash injury. Following the accident, he decompensated rather rapidly and his functional capacity decreased dramatically. He was married for 7 years, and the marriage was characterized as argumentative. The central source of this conflict was Mrs. Vince's conviction that her husband was destined for a better life. She was clearly ambitious for him. On his part, he was easygoing and quite content with his way of life. Nevertheless, he felt unfairly criticized by his wife for his seeming lack of drive.

The accident produced a remarkable change in Mrs. Vince. She took on the role of his spokesperson, accompanied him to all his medical appointments and defended and made a case for his continuing disability. He battled with the workers' compensation board and with physicians and other health-care professionals, and for the first time in his marriage Mr. Vince had the distinct feeling of having his wife on his side. He was the beneficiary of Mrs. Vince's caregiving role. The accident extricated him from an untenable situation, and Mrs. Vince was released, in the face of his pain and disability, from her battle to mobilize her husband's ambition for a better life.

Mr. Vince had no problem in slipping into the role of a chronically sick individual, and Mrs. Vince provided much reinforcement for him to maintain that role. The accident, in effect, resolved a chronic marital conflict. Couple therapy proved futile, and Mr. abd Mrs. Vince blamed the medical profession for its ineptitude in failing to solve a simple problem. This level of collusion between partners virtually guaranteed treatment failure. A most important point of note is that if Mr. Vince's medical condition had responded to treatment, the outcome would have been quite different. In a case such as his, patients and family members often encounter a paradoxical situation. On the one hand, they are told that the medical problem is not serious or that various kinds of investigations had failed to find a disease. On the other hand, the patients continue to experience severe and debilitating pain. This is the basis of much distrust between patients and professionals. The reality of the patient and the family is on a collision course with the opinions and findings of the medical investigations. Not infrequently, family members side with the patient.

Was this article helpful?

0 0
Mending The Marriage

Mending The Marriage

Patch The Holes Of Your Marriage And Experience The Feeling Of New Love. Marriage is the most delicate and in most of the cases most important relationship known in this world. Our life has become very rigid and busy and this rigid life has made lots of things go wrong and one of the very important areas is marriage which gets affected due to our unhealthy, unsocial and sometimes senseless living style.

Get My Free Ebook

Post a comment